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Orange and opinion less
That’s what I expect from a carrot

Witty remarks and compliments
That’s what I want from a parrot

Comfortable and defeated
That’s what I expect from a sheepskin rug

Criminal losing hands
That’s what I want from the millennium bug

Keith Moon giving the Queen Mother a drumming lesson
That’s what I expect from a séance with my friends

The Earth wrapped in waterproof paper
That’s the kind of present that I want to send

A computer desk made from the bones of the cruellest dragon that ever lived
That’s what I expect to buy from the Ikea store

A circumcised ant shouting orders at his troops
That’s what I want from a holy war

Thunder clouds eating trees with forks of lightning
That’s what I expect from Ready Steady Cook

A pigeon leaving a vapour trail
That’s what I want to see when I look